The Incredibly Big Pork Chop

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You never know whence musical inspiration may come.

Waiting for a flight at Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport in 2017, I overheard one end of a phone conversation between a young woman and her friend. As many people do, she said too much about herself and spoke more loudly than necessary, as if unaware she was in a public space.

She described a pork chop she had been served in a restaurant. Apparently, it was larger than she had expected, and she couldn't finish it. She expounded on this fascinating subject for a good(?) twenty minutes, at a forte dynamic level.

It struck me as a little funny that she was a doctor, and yet had a very limited vocabulary. She mentioned the size of the pork chop many, many times, and yet could only think of a few simple ways to describe it. It was, repeatedly, "big," "very big," "so big," "really big," or "incredibly big."

The whole presentation seemed overly theatrical. And so The Incredibly Big Pork Chop is also overly theatrical. I decided to go with a classical style, and to go big - full symphony orchestra and SATB chorus - to convey the scale and grandeur of the tale, and of the pork chop.

The original "manuscript" is shown in the attached photo. I scribbled it on a piece of paper while listening to the phone call. What else is there to do while waiting to board, besides composing orchestral music? I'm sure you do the same.

Get the sheet music at Sheet Music Plus or Sheet Music Direct.

Here's the libretto:

I was served a giant pork chop.
I could not believe my eyes!
I could only finish half of it.
I cannot describe the size!

I've never seen such a big pork chop
and I hope I never will again!
That pork chop ought to be illegal.
Did I mention it was big?

It was big.
So big.
Really big.
Really, really big.
I mean big.

Pork chop.
Pork chop.
Pork chop.
Big.
Big.

Pork chop!
Pork chop.
Way too big.

I've never seen a pork chop quite so big
So big
So very, very big
Did I mention it was big?

In case I didn't mention it...

...it was big.

Yes, it was big.
Yes, it was big.
Yes, it was big.
Yes, it was big.

One incredibly big pork chop,
much bigger than should be.
One incredibly big pork chop,
much bigger than pork chops should be.

I was served a giant pork chop.
I could not believe my eyes!
I could only finish half of it.
I cannot describe the size!

I've never seen such a big pork chop
and I hope I never will again!
That pork chop ought to be illegal.
I could only eat half!
Only half!
Only finish half!

Did I mention...
Did I mention...
Did I mention...
Did I mention the pork chop was big?

It was big.
So big.
Really big.
Really, really big.
I MEAN BIG!

Next time I'll order something smaller.

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